Indian tycoon to bailout investment bank

Desi undergarment tycoon Chavvani Lal has offered to buyout the beleaguered Lehman Bros for an undisclosed sum. Chavvani has claimed that executives from his firm have already finished a round of diligence and are now in talks with regulatory authorities in US and certain investment bankers to fund the move.

“I am tired of these on the block comments. Why don’t they do something if they are so worried,” wondered Chavvani about the fate of the global investment bank. He was crticial of the US government which he claimed was ignoring Lehman at the cost of insurers whose quarterly results could be marred by soured investments in Lehman Bros.

The Chavvani controlled Pungee Group which has interests in roadside langot and juice joint business around the national capital, is the latest entrant in the ongoing war to gain control over the global investment bank.

When asked about Barclays spoiling his company’s party, Chavvani said “Barclays does not have a sound plan for reviving Lehman Bros. We will offer a free langot with every bank account that a customer opens,” he said. When told that the investment banks do not function that way, Chavvani claimed that all banks are the same and that his company will turn the bank around within months.

“I am tired of all this shindig raised by these two penny media guys and bloggers. See either you buy the bank or you just keep your mouth shut and I am walking the talk,” he said. Pungee Group has already informed the stock exchange that the talks are at an advanced level and the shares of the company have risen by 7 percent from yesterday’s closure at BSE.

An inside sources have told this blogger that the Pungee Group was looking at a mixture of debt and equity to fund the takeover and is planning to launch a special project vehicle for this purpose. “We will be holding a offseason sale on unused langots, low rise dhotis, thermal pajamas and used mixers and grinders,” an insider claimed. Chavvani wants the deal to be wrapped up before the Chinese become active through Barclays, sources claimed.